Almost Archive with Mr. Q: These products are for sale

March 05 2020


In this special episode of the Archie McPhee Archives with Mr. Q, you can actually buy the items. Everything featured is about to go in the archives and we have a limited supply left. So, if you're interested, buy them before they're gone!

Weird, incomplete transcript:

Hello and welcome to the special Almost Archive show with Mr. Q! 

These are 10 things that are about to be in the archives, so you know what that means. You know what to do. Check it out. 

The first thing you should check out is the Plastic Hut. How cool is the hut, the whole thing. Everything you see here comes in this little box and it's all stuffed into this hut. You got chickens, you got cows. The farmers had the whole farm and they're all in here. That's so cool. One of the coolest sets I've ever seen and they even have these scary rabbits. Ah, love that plastic hut.

I'm quite partial to this as you can probably tell. The Safety Monitor Fez comes in fluorescent yellow, has a little tassel. Lets me stand out in a crowd. So any office that has a safety monitor, probably good to get one of these. 

You've got the Top Hat Espresso Cup and Saucer. It looks like a top hat, but in fact, it's a little espresso cup. Cool. Is that it's a good thing that Mad Hatter didn't have this. It would've made him even more mad. Put them together. Top hat. Very cool.

We like funny pendants that we've come up with different things to put on them and this one is the Despair Pennant. Woo. Got the little cloud there. Celebrate despair. That's all right. That's a good thing for the office. That's my opinion. 

When you go to a party and you bring some wine, you don't want to just put it in a regular old wine bag, so put it in some underwear - Vinderpants. Some people see this and it freaks them out, but not our kind of people. Your wine needs underwear. It's right there. 

Happy Birthday Tongue Scraper. This, the packaging alone on this is worth it. You have so many great elements. Happy tongue. The happy tongue couple. The clown. I don't even want to know what that thing's doing with it. It removes birthday germs. 

We also have Modest Urns we have or humans and Pet Urns. The great thing about these is it's all in there. You can customize it with this whole list of sayings and different lines of for the dearly departed and attach them to the urn itself. You can customize it with the stickers and it comes with your own bonus eulogy all in one. That's all you need and the pet one is very similar. Great idea, modest earns. 

We also have the Jinx Removing Spray removes jinxes, hexes or curses. No guarantees though. Just take this, spray it, and it gets rid of all those jinxes. Everybody should have one of these just in case. Think about it. 

Here’s an awesome gag box than we designed. You put your actual present in here, but when someone opens it, they think they're getting the thing on the box. In this case, the Shrunken Head Ham Sculpture Kit. This box is just amazing. There are so many awesome details. It shows the making of shrunken heads out of ham, kids playing with it. And the finest part of it is the instructions. You've got all these details. 

And the final thing, it's probably the best thing you're going to see on this table is the Batstache. ‘Nuff said, and that's it for the almost archives. Remember, if you like this clinical stuff, check out Archie McPhee or the store in Seattle. Thanks.


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