No Soliciting, Unless You're In A Banana Suit
April 17 2017
When we put originally put our "No Soliciting" sign up on the door to our corporate offices we really didn't want any solicitors. Once we took a look at it, the sign just seemed so cold and so uncaring and so... not us. We decided to add an exception that reflected the business that went on inside our building. As you can see below, we said we'd let a salesman wearing a banana suit pitch his/her wares.
Absolutely No Soliciting. No Exceptions... UNLESS YOU'RE IN A BANANA SUIT
We never expected it to actually happen! So, when this determined salesman showed up in a banana suit, we were good as our word and actually let him into the building to hear his patter.
Now we have to change our signs and make an even bigger barrier to actually being able to sell to us. So far we can't decide between making them eat something gross, some kind of scavenger hunt with complicated clues or providing us with definitive proof of the existence of Bigfoot.
Simple. All salespeople must pitch their lines through interpretive dance.
…while wearing a full Carman Miranda outfit.
Platforms & full fruit headdress required.
I hope you placed an order!
I’d require a full musical and dance number, in costume.
Like maybe requiring that they do a proper tap dance while singing You are my Sunshine and wearing a unicorn costume.
I am saddened that you don’t included girlscouts in your exceptions.
Y’all could use some Thin Mints.
Eating something gross. . .define “gross.” Plus, there are problems with this: Cultural (what’s gross in American culture is yummy in another); what if the salesperson has an allergic reaction (can you say “lawsuit liability”? I knew you could! ); and, this just seems mean, and not part of your ethos.
The scavenger hunt would be fun! A good challenge, and I like it.
But Bigfoot? Part of the Northwest, and y’all SELL Bigfoot stuff! Definite proof of his existence? AWESOME!