The Avenging Unicorn and Avenging Narwhal Play Sets

Posted on October 12 2015

Avenging Unicorn

These items have been discontinued and are no longer for sale. If you have a great memory of them or would like us to bring them back, leave a comment on this post and let us know. We still have lots of weird unicorn products for sale!

 THE AVENGING UNICORN AND AVENGING NARWHAL

What if you had a unicorn to take care of all the irritations in your life? That's the question we asked ourselves when made the Avenging Unicorn. The Avenging Narwhal grew out of our belief that narwhals were adorable and under-appreciated when it came to arctic adorableness. Both made multiple "worst toys ever made for kids" lists, as if they were ever marketed toward kids. (They weren't.)

The original description

Your unicorn buddy wants to take care of all your problems

  • Unicorn figure that pierces irritating people
  • 3-3/4" tall hard vinyl unicorn
  • Includes three 3-1/8" figures (New Age Lady, Bank CEO and Mime)
  • Pose on your desk at work as a lighthearted threat

The Avenging Unicorn is the answer to all your dreams. Who wouldn't want an imaginary(?) unicorn friend that they can call forth to pierce their enemies with a mighty horn. The Avenging Unicorn Playset has everything you need to use the power of the unicorn to rid your life of irritations. Put the posable, 3-3/4" tall, hard vinyl unicorn on a flat surface and then impale one of three 3-1/8" tall, soft vinyl figures included (businessman/boss, new age lady and mime). Probably not good to keep on your desk if you work at a bank, a coffee house or a mimery (that's what they call the place where mimes work). Also includes four interchangeable horns (classic spiral, chrome, glow and pearlescent).

Avenging Unicorn with horns mime hippy businessman

After a being discontinued for a short time, we brought back the Avenging Unicorn in a redesigned package and replaced the new age lady figure with a hipster.

Ad for Avenging Unicorn announcing his return mime hipster

 

Avenging Unicorn with hipster

 

THE AVENGING NARWHAL

The success of our Avenging Unicorn got us to thinking about the only naturally occurring one-horned animal, the narwhal. Since it was an actual creature, not a fantasy, we couldn't give it the same motivation as the unicorn. We concocted the idea of angrily stalking all creatures cuter than it is. Amazingly, we discovered that people didn't know what a narwhal was and we had to start by explaining it. Never a good sign for a product that is supposed to make you laugh. We have received complaints saying that the story of our narwhal contributes to school violence because it makes light of an angry loner taking revenge against better looking people. Some people just don't understand the complexity of the narwhal.

Avenging Narwhal package original

The original description

  • 5-1/2" long
  • Hard vinyl
  • Four detachable tusks
  • Includes baby seals, baby penguins and koalas to impale

The narwhal is an arctic-dwelling whale that has been called "the unicorn of the sea" due to its long pointy tusk. There is debate about the true purpose of this tusk, but finally the truth is revealed! The narwhal uses its tusk to impale the cute animals of the world, specifically baby seals, baby penguins and koalas. This 5-1/2" long, hard vinyl narwhal comes with four magic tusks (crystal, onyx, ruby and ice) to impale the three 1-1/2" long, soft vinyl cuties. Don't let cute overrun the world, fight back with your own Avenging Narwhal!

Avenging Narwhal with penguins koala and seal

The back of the package is loaded with "facts" about the Avenging Narwhal – Nature's Unicorn.

Avenging Narwhal Story on back of package

For centuries, the Narwhal was the great mystery of the sea. With the body of a whale and the horn of a Unicorn, many people believed that these fascinating creatures were harmless inhabitants of the icy waters of the Arctic Ocean. Recent studies, however, have exposed the secret agenda of these mysterious mammals and the true purpose of their extraordinarily long pointy tusks.

The studies revealed that millions of years ago, penguins, snow seals and koalas ruled the earth. For sustenance, they feasted upon whales, dolphins and other sea mammals to the point of near extinction. But the Narwhal went into hiding beneath the ice of the North Pole, biding their time, planning their revenge and sharpening their tusks. Finally, they reemerged, tusks gleaming with newfound magical power, and fought back against the adorable creatures that threatened their existence. The battle was long, and many Narwhal were lost, but their strong will and sharp tusks were enough to stave off the cute ones temporarily. 

Now, once a year, in a continuous effort to keep their enemies at bay, the Narwhal leave their homes to embark treacherous migration to Antarctica in the hunt for baby penguins and seal pups. Many will not return... Along their journey, they will spend time in Australia, swimming upstream to the inland habitat of the koalas, where they will actually leap out of the water to spear the deadly koalas from their perches high in the Eucalyptus trees. 

Like it's predecessor, the Narwhal went away for a little while and was resurrected with new packaging and slightly modified story.

The Avenging Narwhal, with his whale body and unicorn horn, has long struggled with his looks. In school, he had to deal with the constant teasing from the clique of adorable penguins. This went on for years, but the narwhal did nothing. Then, senior year during a study hall, the narwhal intercepted a note intended for a penguin and discovered the penguin conspiracy to take over the world. It seems they were using a propaganda campaign, nature documentaries and animated films, to make the world think they were harmless, when really each penguin was a megalomaniacal genius intent on full control of humans.

The Narwhal has since made it his duty to crush the penguins' plans by piercing them with his magical tusk and culling their numbers to stave off their evil plans. So while your friend and neighbors talk about how cute penguins are and how they look like they're wearing tiny suits, you'll know that the true friend of the world is the homely, but heroic, Avenging Narwhal, who has sacrificed his life to ending the penguin scourge.

Avenging Narwhal with horn through penguin

Avenging Narwhal art shot with penguin

Heavy Metal Avenging Unicorn Piercing Hipster with Horn

29 comments

  • Rich L. : December 08, 2018

    Without the Avenging Narwhal, the arctic is being overrun with penguins, koala and seal pups! Please support conservation efforts and restore the natural balance by re-releasing the Avenging Narwhal. I’ll buy a bunch.

  • Other Rachel: December 05, 2018

    I too would love to see the return of the avenging unicorn.

  • Rachel: November 09, 2018

    Please bring back the avenging unicorn and narwhal!

  • Dan B.: October 30, 2018

    Please bring the narwhal toy back! I remember first discovering it years ago, when I was too young to have much purchasing power. Now, in my mid-twenties, my body aches to own this toy, but alas! Please make my dreams come true with a re-release.

  • Glenn Clark: October 23, 2018

    Please bring them back‼ My preference would be for the cute-killer, but I’d settle for the addition of a glow-in-the-dark tusk.
    You know that the tusk is really an elongated canine tooth that grows through the upper lip? Way cool, but probably a real pain in the…lip.
    I’d get a unicorn & a narwhal‼

  • Esme: September 05, 2018

    I have been kicking myself for not buying these since you discontinued them. Please bring them back before I do myself a serious injury.

  • Person: August 14, 2018

    PLEEEAASSSEEE!!!! PLease bring these back!!!!! They brought so much fun and joy to me and my friend! I love the little toys and action figures on this site, and I’ve been searching for these toys and toys like it! I would really really REALLY love it if these were brought back!!!!

  • Max: June 22, 2018

    For gods sake! The people have spoken! We demand the return of the narwal(the unicorns alright)!!!! I would buy 10 immediatly..

  • Sari: June 21, 2018

    I will buy these sets as gifts for everyone I know for as long as possible if you bring them back. Ive already purchased 6 (2 unicorns and 4 narwahls) from collector sites. Please help us in our quest to avenge!

  • Thechickenmoo: June 18, 2018

    I purchased a half-complete set on amazon for 25$. PLEASE bring these back. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I will add more pleases as necessary.

  • Gem: June 03, 2018

    Please bring both sets back. My life will never be complete without them.

  • Anthony: May 15, 2018

    Please bring these back. Since I heard about them I want one!

  • Judelyn P: May 09, 2018

    Bring back the avenging unicorn pretty please! gotta have the mime too :D

  • Renee Courtney: February 15, 2018

    Please bring them back! We have narwhals at our park and rec exhibit these would be fun for the kids.

  • Tracy: February 15, 2018

    Please bring back both sets!! I need them in my life!!! Pleeeaaasseeeeee!!!

  • 大卫: January 20, 2018

    Please bring back both playsets. It would make my life complete.

  • phil seroczynski sr: January 13, 2018

    grandson really want an avenging normal play set. Where can I buy one? Help please

  • Skylar: January 10, 2018

    Please being back the narwhal! I would love to be able to own a set!!

  • Benjamin: January 08, 2018

    Please bring them back. Specially the narwhal. I just discovered it and I need it

  • keathley: December 23, 2017

    Bring them back!!!!

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