Unicorn for Sale: How do I buy a unicorn?

For sale, one unicorn named Sparklemane. This pure white stallion with a single horn is available to a good home. They do not come sweeter or more gentle than this powerful steed. Warning: Does not get along with dark wizards, pegasuses or petty triflers of all sorts.

If only getting a unicorn was as easy as answering an advertisement like the one above! Real unicorns are very self-motivated, intelligent creatures. To imply that you can own one is not only insulting to the unicorn, it also makes it less likely that you will attract a unicorn.

So, now that we’ve established that person does not buy a unicorn, it’s really a matter of preparing yourself to be worthy of a unicorn. You don't buy a real unicorn, they are attracted to people who are beautiful on the inside, places of hope and inspiration that exist inside larger darker places, and cupcakes with bright sprinkles.

We sell a Unicorn Discovery Kit to help you along the way!

The first step in finding a unicorn is to live strictly by the Unicorn Code:

1. Unicorns never cheat.
2. Unicorns always lend a helping hand.
3. Unicorns always consider the well-being of others.
4. Unicorns respect the earth.
5. Unicorns are never late.
6. Unicorns aren't conceited.
7. Unicorns don't judge people.
8. Unicorns always give 100%.
9. Unicorns only use their horns if they have to.
10. Unicorns respect their bodies by living cleanly.

Creating a place of hope and inspiration can be difficult. Here are some things we recommend:

Remove anything negative from your space like newspapers, coffins and angry spiders.

If there are ghosts in the space, politely ask them to leave. Most ghosts will leave if you ask, but if the ghost doesn't leave, your new positive attitude will eventually force them out. Being dead means most ghosts are grumps and pessimists. We don’t have time for that!

To make the space more appealing to unicorns, you can also add things like flowers, posters of kittens and puppies, bowls of candy, dreamcatchers, fresh fruit, lucky pennies, coupons, colorful socks, crowned jewels, happy spiders, mustache wax, red staplers, a book of fairy tales, a poem (must rhyme), scrapbooking supplies, a button that was used to clean a pug’s wrinkles, frosting, an elbow macaroni necklace, ghostwritten celebrity biographies, an old-timey horn with a rubber bulb on the end, a self-portrait that accentuates your positive characteristics, a shell collection, tiny hats, glitter, a prism, stuffed unicorns, a bag of pennies or a carefully curated dream journal.

Third and most important is cupcakes. You must constantly have cupcakes around you. In fact, it’s a good idea to just randomly hand them out to people. You never know when you might happen upon a unicorn in disguise. Giving them a cupcake might just be the thing that pushes them over the edge into thinking that you’re worthy.

Once a unicorn has accepted you, enjoy it! It will come and go as it pleases, but it brings joy and fulfillment to all who are worthy enough to be around it.

In the meantime, take a look at the rest of our unicorn products!