Inflatable evil from another dimension
Who wouldn't want the same facial hair as HP Lovecraft's most famous alien creation? This inflatable beard of tentacles has broad appeal: turbo nerds, octopus aficionados, and worshipers of the Old Gods alike delight in its glory. Just put the elastic loops around your ears and you'll instantly transform into an ancient horror from another dimension. Just think—Cthulhu cult members chant for years to get a beard like this; you can get yours with only a few puffs.