They control the world, so certainly they can protect your secrets
You know they're controlling everything in the world and you have the evidence to prove it. This Illuminati Box is the perfect place to store it! It's a 7" x 5" x 1-1/2" cardboard box held shut by a magnetic closure. Comes with a free sticker sheet covered with mysterious symbols that, if you know how to read them, explain every conspiracy in the world. We wish we could tell you what celebrities endorsed this box, but they'd probably have us killed. Great for storing: proof of conspiracies, fake ID for an alternate identity, plans for world domination, ancient rites of fraternal organizations and pictures of your cat. Fnord.