Archie McPhee

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School & Office

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  1. Ceramic Nose Pencil Sharpener

    Ceramic Nose Pencil Sharpener

    $9.00

    Instock

    • Pencil sharpener in a ceramic nose
    • 2" long
    • Looks like it fell off a statue's face
    • Classy
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  2. Atheist Stocking

    Atheist Stocking

    $12.00

    Instock

    • 16" long felt stocking
    • Decorated with evolution & the Big Bang
    • Won't be filled by Santa
    • Helps everyone be included
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  3. Big Googly Eyes

    Big Googly Eyes

    $5.00

    Instock

    • One pair of 3" Googly Eyes
    • Adhesive back
    • The "just right" size
    • Fun comes in medium packages too
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  4. Shakespearean Insult Bandages

    Shakespearean Insult Bandages

    $5.00

    Instock

    • 15 3" x 1" latex-free bandages
    • Come in a collectible tin
    • Decorated with Shakespeare & his insults
    • Perfect for curs & wretches
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  5. Wall Monsters Vinyl Decals

    Wall Monsters Vinyl Decals

    $12.00

    Instock

    • 8 vinyl removable decals
    • 4 large 11" & 4 small 5-1/2"
    • Snazzes up any room
    • Jerks hate them
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  6. Graffiti Eyes Tape

    Graffiti Eyes Tape

    $4.50

    Instock

    • 100 foot roll of 3/4" wide tape
    • Over 1000 pairs of eyes on each roll
    • Come in dispenser
    • Perfect for defacing pictures of Justin Bieber
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  7. Emergency Glow in the Dark Googly Eyes

    Emergency Glow in the Dark Googly Eyes

    $8.00

    Instock

    • 18 pairs of stick-on eyes
    • Glow in the dark
    • 4 sizes ranging from 1/2" to 1-3/16"
    • Stare at you while you sleep
    • Read More
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  8. Googly Eye Push Pins

    Googly Eye Push Pins

    $5.00

    Instock

    • 25 push pins
    • Each has a real googly eye on top
    • Holds things to other things
    • Personifies memos
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  9. Lab Flask Shot Glass

    Lab Flask Shot Glass

    $12.00

    Instock

    • One flask-shaped shot glass
    • 2-3/4" tall
    • Holds 2 oz. of fluid
    • It's hip to be square
    • Read More
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  10. Ear Buddies Ear Buds

    Ear Buddies Ear Buds

    $12.95

    Instock

    • Working ear buds
    • You'll have tiny ears on your ears
    • Works with iPhone or any 3.5 mm jack
    • Both funny ha-ha and funny peculiar
    • Read More
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  11. Pencil Eraser Hats

    Pencil Eraser Hats

    $3.50

    Instock

    • Set of 4 eraser hats
    • Range from 1/2" to 1" in size
    • Top hat, bowler, homburg & fedora
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  12. VandalEyes Googly Eyes Starter Kit

    VandalEyes Googly Eyes Starter Kit

    $19.50

    Instock

    • All you need to start vandaleyesing
    • 1 giant pair & 2 emergency tins
    • Meets most humans' googly demands
    • Perfect for visual arts projects (get it?)
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  13. Doctor Who in Your Pocket

    Doctor Who in Your Pocket

    $12.50

    Out of stock

    • 3-1/2" key chain, battery included
    • 6 Doctor Who soundbites
    • Almost like being a Time Lord
    • Perfect for the key to your TARDIS
    • Read More
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    Out of stock

  14. Jane Austen Bandages

    Jane Austen Bandages

    $5.00

    Instock

    • 15 bandages with image & quotes
    • Includes a dashing reusable tin
    • Bandages are latex-free
    • FREE PRIZE INSIDE!
    • Read More
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  15. Pi Baking Mold

    Pi Baking Mold

    $12.00

    Instock

    • Bake a pi cake
    • Nerds will ask, "Why not a pi pie?"
    • 9" diameter x 2" tall silicone mold
    • Also good for gelatin, ice, or candy
    • Read More
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  16. Edgar Allan Poe Lunchbox

    Edgar Allan Poe Lunchbox

    $13.00

    Instock

    • 8" x 7" x 4" metal lunchbox
    • Plastic handle & vinyl dangle
    • Includes iconic Poe imagery
    • Perfect for a "Poe"-boy sandwich
    • Read More
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  17. Mini Crime Scene Tape

    Mini Crime Scene Tape

    $4.50

    Instock

    • Tape that looks like crime scene tape
    • 100 feet of 3/4" wide tape
    • Comes in plastic dispenser
    • Perfect passive-aggressive way to point out mistakes
    • Read More
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  18. Mini Biohazard Tape

    Mini Biohazard Tape

    $4.50

    Instock

    • Tape that looks like biohazard tape
    • 100 feet of 3/4" wide tape
    • Comes in plastic dispenser
    • Perfect passive-aggressive way to make roommates tidy
    • Read More
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  19. Surprise Tattoos

    Surprise Tattoos

    $7.00

    Instock

    • Random assortment of 26 tattoos
    • Comes in a 3-1/4" x 2-1/2" x 3/4" tin
    • Each assortment is different
    • Cross your fingers that you get a blender
    • Read More
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  20. Giant Googly Eyes

    Giant Googly Eyes

    $7.00

    Instock

    • 1 pair of 7" diameter googly eyes
    • Adhesive back for easy attachment
    • Add life to forklifts, dumpsters & yachts
    • I always feel like that sofa's watchin' me
    • Read More
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