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Shark Attack Porcelain Mug
$10.56Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, SHARK!
- 3-1/4" tall porcelain mug
- Has deadly shark inside
- Hand wash in water, dishwasher safe
- We're gonna need a bigger mug
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Lazy Housekeeper Mop Slippers
$8.00Clean while you shuffle around your bachelor pad
- A mop that slips over your feet
- Cleans dust without any extra effort on your part
- You can't get much lazier than this
- Fits most adult feet
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Emergency Reboot Button
$12.03Let's replace the IT department with this button
- A big button that shouts, "Reboot!"
- 4-1/4" x 2-3/4" x 3/4" plastic case
- Has power symbol on the button
- Batteries not included
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Macaroni & Cheese Bandages
$5.00Coat your wound with starchy goodness
- Twelve 3" x 1" bandages decorated with mac & cheese
- Come in a reusable tin
- Latex free with sterile gauze
- FREE PRIZE INSIDE!
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I'm Not Listening Earplugs
$4.02Win every argument by not acknowledging it
- One pair of reusable earplugs
- Comes in collectible tin
- Earplugs made of soft memory foam
- Silence is a source of great strength
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Rose Scented Mustaches
$4.56Smell the world through a rose scented mustache
- Three rose-scented mustaches
- Fits most adult faces
- Pull off back to reveal adhesive strip
- It's how optimists smell things
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Tentacle Mustache
$5.00What do you get when you cross a gentleman with a squid?
- 5-3/4" wide vinyl mustache
- Attaches to nose with gentle clip
- Looks like you have an octopus in your nostril
- This is what undersea Geraldo Rivera would look like
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Mustache Baking Mold
$12.00The cake Tom Selleck gets on his birthday
- Soft silicone baking mold
- 16" wide x 1-1/2" deep
- Also good for jello, ice & chocolate
- Perfect for a mustache party
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Mustache Gift Wrap
$4.03Excuse me, do you have any gift wrap for hipsters?
- Two sheets of 20" x 30" wrapping paper
- Thick paper, not that cheap stuff
- Covered in mustaches
- Makes your gift mas macho
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Bacon Gift Wrap
$4.03There better be bacon in that box
- Two sheets of 20" x 30" wrapping paper
- Thick paper, not that cheap stuff
- Looks like an infinite plain of bacon
- Bacon makes everything better, even gifts
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Pi Gift Wrap
$4.03The perfect gift wrap for math nerds
- Two sheets of 20" x 30" wrapping paper
- Thick paper, not that cheap stuff
- Has pi to over 5,000 places
- The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter is this gift wrap
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Mysterious Candy Collection
$19.95If you like candy and surprises, this mysterious box is for you
- $40 worth of candy for under $20
- Candy contents a complete mystery until box is open
- Who is brave enough to eat it all?
- Great surprise gift for friends and enemies
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Bacon Collection
$39.95The Bacon Collection is the ultimate gift for bacon lovers
- The best of our bacon products crammed into one box
- An aromatic baconstravaganza!
- Over $40 in bacon stuff for less than $40
- Sure to please any proud carnivore
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Machismo Candy Cigarettes
$1.95Nothing diminishes manliness like addiction to nicotine
- Twelve 3-1/2" sticks
- Realistic 3-7/8" x 2" x 3/4" pack
- Orange-flavored
- Does not diminish lung capacity
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Madison Avenue Candy Cigarettes
$1.95Let us tell you how these cigarettes make you feel
- Twelve 3-1/2" long sticks of candy
- Orange flavor
- A reminder of the ad teams behind cigarettes
- Real people should never smoke
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Bacon Lollipop
$3.95There's a bacon sucker born every minute
- 4" wide, sugary lollipop
- Bacon-flavored
- Comes with stick to avoid sticky fingers
- Mr. Bacon approved
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Mustache Lollipop
$2.95Half candy, half costume
- 4-1/2" wide, sugary lollipop
- Cola-flavored
- Comes on a stick to avoid sticky fingers
- Hold in front of your lips for instant disguise
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Brain Pop
$2.95The sour cerebellum that tickles your taste buds
- 1-3/4" wide, sugary lollipop
- Sour apple flavor
- Comes with stick to avoid sticky fingers
- Great gift for zombies with a sweet tooth
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Foie Gras Bubble Gum
$3.50Foie Gras is the liver from geese! Umm... Yum?
- Tastes like fancy goose liver
- 3-1/4" x 2-1/2" x 3/4" tin features a nervous goose
- Pairs well with burgundy
- Cruelty free, unless you trick someone into eating them
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