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Christmas

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  1. Gift Alarm

    Gift Alarm

    $13.00

    Couple this with a stun gun for complete present protection

    • 2-3/4" motion detecting alarm for presents
    • Batteries included
    • Siren and flashing light when activated
    • Protect presents from Sneaky-Petes
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  2. Bigfoot Sweater

    Bigfoot Sweater

    $42.50

    Bigfoot not only celebrates Christmas, you should see the size of his stocking

    • Horribly distasteful Christmas sweater
    • One size that fits no one well
    • Bigfoot in a Santa hat, awwww
    • Limited quantity
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  3. Gravy Candy Canes

    Gravy Candy Canes

    $4.74

    Tastes like grandma's secret recipe, only candy and shaped like a hook

    • Set of six brown & white candy canes
    • 5-1/4" tall gravy-flavored candy canes
    • Gravy makes everything better, even Christmas
    • Sneak one in with regular candy canes
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  4. Bah, Humbug! Candy Cane

    Bah, Humbug! Candy Cane

    $5.00

    Instead of eating it, use it to beat carolers

    • 10-1/4" white candy cane
    • Has no flavor, color or Christmas spirit
    • 3.1 oz. of candy
    • Even Scrooge has a sweet tooth
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  5. Glow in the Dark Jellyfish Ornament

    Glow Jellyfish Ornament

    $6.00

    Turns your tree into an endless field of glowing jellyfish

    • 4" tall vinyl jellyfish
    • Glows in the dark
    • Does not sting
    • Great day or night
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  6. Krampus Ornament

    Krampus Ornament

    $15.00

    Christmas for the naughty

    • 5-1/2" tall Krampus ornament
    • Krampus comes for naughty boys and girls
    • Made of glass
    • Has string for hanging
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  7. Lederhosen Unicorn Ornament

    Lederhosen Unicorn Ornament

    $15.00

    The most awesome ornament in the universe

    • 5-3/4" glass unicorn
    • Unicorn is wearing pink lederhosen
    • Adds sass to your tree
    • Includes string for hanging
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  8. Charles Darwin Ornament

    Charles Darwin Ornament

    $15.00

    The most evolved Christmas ornament ever

    • Ornament of Charles Darwin
    • 3-1/2" x 5" traditional glass style
    • Was a real guy
    • Looks like Santa, but it's not
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  9. Creepy Horse Head Ornament

    Creepy Horse Head Ornament

    $15.00

    This disembodied horse head wishes you a Merry Christmas

    • Ornament that looks like a Horse Mask
    • 3-1/2" x 4-1/2" traditional glass style
    • Makes Christmas creepier
    • Not a good present for your niece that loves horses
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  10. Santa Pickle Ornament

    Santa Pickle Ornament

    $15.00

    It's Christmas-brine in the city…

    • 6" tall Santa Pickle Ornament
    • Made of glass
    • A barrel of fun
    • Includes a string for easy hanging
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  11. Creepy Wrapping Paper Book

    Creepy Wrapping Paper Book

    $15.95

    Makes your gifts thoughtful and disturbing

    • 12 sheets of 27" x 18" gift wrap
    • Each decorated with disturbing creepiness
    • Sheets come folded in book, perforated for easy removal
    • Probably not good for a baby shower
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  12. Meat Parade Wrapping Paper Book

    Meat Parade Wrapping Paper Book

    $15.95

    Less smelly than wrapping gifts in actual meat

    • 12 sheets of 27" x 18" gift wrap
    • Each decorated with meaty goodness
    • Sheets come folded in book, perforated for easy removal
    • Join the Meat Parade
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  13. Super Awesome Gift Card

    Super Awesome Gift Card

    From $20.00

    Give the gift of awesome!

    • Email a gift card instantly
    • You choose the amount
    • Write a gift message
    • Thoughtful in the extreme
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  14. Vinderalls

    Vinderalls

    $12.00

    The overalls for your wine

    • 95% cotton, 5% spandex overalls
    • Fits most wine bottles
    • Hides the label of bad vintages
    • Bib pocket holds a gift card or hankie
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  15. Jumbo Bacon Candy Cane

    Jumbo Bacon Candy Cane

    $5.00

    Big bacon flavor in a colossal candy cane

    • 10-1/4" tall candy cane
    • Tastes like bacon
    • Festive symbol of bacon supremacy
    • Not to be used to club baby seals
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  16. Santa Dreidel

    Santa Dreidel

    $4.50

    Don't choose between Christmas and Hanukkah—Choose Chrismukkah!

    • Reflects Jewish & Christian traditions
    • 2-3/4" tall wooden, four-sided dreidel
    • Covered with Christmas symbols
    • Charmingly misguided
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  17. Turkey Mask

    Turkey Mask

    $34.95

    Not the one Mr. Bean wore

    • Perfect for Thanksgiving or Christmas
    • Realistic latex raw turkey mask
    • Fits most adult heads
    • Your life is just like a sitcom
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  18. Lucky Yodelling Christmas Pickle Ornament

    Lucky Yodelling Christmas Pickle Ornament

    $12.00

    Of course it's lucky; finding a pickle is always good luck

    • 4-1/2" tall plastic pickle ornament
    • Has loop on top for hanging
    • Equipped with motion detector that unleashes a yodel
    • Batteries included; has on/off switch
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  19. Krampus Sweater

    Krampus Sweater

    $42.50

    Let's not forget the naughty children this year

    • 2013 EDITION!
    • Horribly distasteful Christmas sweater
    • One size that fits no one well
    • The anti-Santa will punish the naughty
    • Limited quantity
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    Out of stock

  20. Rubber Chicken in a Santa Suit

    Rubber Chicken in a Santa Suit

    $14.95

    You better watch out; you better not cluck—Santa Chicken is coming to town

    • Chicken adorned in a Santa suit
    • You dress the chicken
    • Perfect for a tree, wreath, or cubicle
    • 21" rubber chicken in a cloth outfit
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