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  1. Gift Alarm

    Gift Alarm

    $13.00

    Couple this with a stun gun for complete present protection

    • 2-3/4" motion detecting alarm for presents
    • Batteries included
    • Siren and flashing light when activated
    • Protect presents from Sneaky-Petes
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  2. Bacon Body Wash

    Bacon Body Wash

    $5.00

    Smell like bacon in every nook and cranny

    • Body wash that smells like bacon
    • 5 oz. bottle of liquid soap
    • Like washing with breakfast
    • Drives dogs crazy
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  3. Jane Austen Air Freshener

    Jane Austen Air Freshener

    $3.50

    Scent and sensibility

    • Air freshener decorated with the image of Jane Austen
    • Smells like genteel lavender
    • 4" tall with string for hanging
    • It's what ladies use to hide stink
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  4. Edgar Allan Poe Air Freshener

    Edgar Allan Poe Air Freshener

    $3.50

    It smells like "Poe-pourri!" Get it?

    • Air freshener with image of Edgar Allan Poe
    • Smells like "Poe-pourri"
    • 4" tall with string for hanging
    • Freshens even the dankest tomb
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  5. William Shakespeare Air Freshener

    William Shakespeare Air Freshener

    $3.50

    Who art so lovely fair and smell'st so sweet? Tis me

    • Smells like "Shakespearmint"
    • Decorated with the image of Shakespeare
    • 4" tall air freshener with string for hanging
    • Improves odors in iambic pentameter
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  6. Seattle World's Fair Postcard Records Set

    Seattle World's Fair Postcard Records

    $19.95

    Remember the Seattle World's Fair with some mediocre music

    • Four postcards from 1962
    • Seattle World's Fair collectible
    • Each is a playable record
    • Songs not very good
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  7. Bigfoot Sweater

    Bigfoot Sweater

    $42.50

    Bigfoot not only celebrates Christmas, you should see the size of his stocking

    • Horribly distasteful Christmas sweater
    • One size that fits no one well
    • Bigfoot in a Santa hat, awwww
    • Limited quantity
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  8. Bacon Scented Mustache

    Bacon Scented Mustache

    $4.00

    The manliest fake mustache ever

    • Fake mustache that smells like bacon
    • Remove back to reveal adhesive
    • Fits most adult faces
    • Masculine! Really masculine...
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  9. Instant Audience

    Instant Audience

    $9.00

    Puts an audience in the palm of your hand

    • Electronic sound maker
    • Produces four sounds at the touch of a button
    • Applause, crickets, rimshot and booing
    • Batteries included
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  10. Emergency Horse

    Emergency Horse

    $9.00

    What does the horse say?

    • Electronic sound maker
    • Produces four sounds at the touch of a button
    • Neigh, whinny, snort and gallop
    • Batteries Included
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  11. Foodie Bandages

    Foodie Bandages

    $5.00

    Could you double check that there are no bandages in this? I'm allergic to bandages

    • Fifteen 3" x 1" sterile bandages
    • 3-3/4" tall metal tin
    • Includes a free prize
    • Heal like a chef
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  12. Edgar Allan Poe Bandages

    Edgar Allan Poe Bandages

    $5.00

    Quoth the Raven, "No more sores!"

    • Fifteen 3" x 1" sterile bandages
    • 3-3/4" tall metal tin
    • Includes a free prize
    • How goths heal
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  13. Meat Parade Vinyl Single and Lunchbox Combo

    Meat Parade Vinyl Single and Lunchbox Combo

    Regular Price: $21.95

    Special Price: $20.00

    Bring me your meat pies! Bring your sausage! Let them take part in the Meat Parade

    • Exclusive vinyl 45 with metal lunchbox
    • Has two meaty songs
    • Vinyl is beautifully marbled
    • Collector alert! Only 1000 records produced
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  14. Meat Parade Vinyl Single

    Meat Parade Vinyl Single

    $8.95

    Bring me your meat pies! Bring your sausage! Let them take part in the Meat Parade

    • Exclusive vinyl 45
    • Has two meaty songs
    • Vinyl is beautifully marbled
    • Collector alert! Only 1000 produced
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  15. Casual Pug Mask

    Pug Mask

    $34.95

    This mask smells better than actual pug wrinkles

    • Realistic latex pug mask
    • Fits most adult heads
    • Will make people give you biscuits for tricks
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  16. Giant Lobster Claws

    Giant Lobster Claws

    $34.95

    Become a lobster superhero and take the law into your own claws

    • Set of two latex lobster claws
    • Each is 14-1/2" long
    • Do not dip in butter, no matter how tempting
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  17. Gravy Candy Canes

    Gravy Candy Canes

    $4.74

    Tastes like grandma's secret recipe, only candy and shaped like a hook

    • Set of six brown & white candy canes
    • 5-1/4" tall gravy-flavored candy canes
    • Gravy makes everything better, even Christmas
    • Sneak one in with regular candy canes
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  18. Wasabi Candy Canes

    Wasabi Candy Canes

    $4.74

    Have yourself a spicy little Christmas

    • Set of six green & white candy canes
    • 5-1/4" tall wasabi-flavored candy canes
    • Makes the holidays spicier
    • Sneak one in with regular candy canes
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  19. Bah, Humbug! Candy Cane

    Bah, Humbug! Candy Cane

    $5.00

    Instead of eating it, use it to beat carolers

    • 10-1/4" white candy cane
    • Has no flavor, color or Christmas spirit
    • 3.1 oz. of candy
    • Even Scrooge has a sweet tooth
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  20. Glow in the Dark Jellyfish Ornament

    Glow Jellyfish Ornament

    $6.00

    Turns your tree into an endless field of glowing jellyfish

    • 4" tall vinyl jellyfish
    • Glows in the dark
    • Does not sting
    • Great day or night
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