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Shakespearean Insult Bandages
$5.00Add Elizabethan insult to injury
- 15 3" x 1" latex-free bandages
- Come in a collectible tin
- Decorated with Shakespeare & his insults
- Perfect for curs & wretches
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Jane Austen Bandages
$5.00From Pride and Prejudice to Bandages and Boo-boos
- 15 bandages with image & quotes
- Includes a dashing reusable tin
- Bandages are latex-free
- FREE PRIZE INSIDE!
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Abraham Lincoln Bandages
$5.00He will heal your wound as he healed a nation
- Twenty 3" x 3/4" bandages with Abraham Lincoln
- Come in a reusable tin
- Bandages are latex free
- FREE PRIZE INSIDE!
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Affirmation Bandages
$5.00Turn your boo boo into a yay yay
- Twenty 3" x 3/4" bandages with affirmations
- Come in a reusable tin
- Bandages are latex free
- FREE PRIZE INSIDE!
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Snake Oil Soap
$5.95Contains real snake oil, which doesn't really do anything
- A 2.5 oz. bar of soap
- Contains real cobra oil
- Allegedly helpful for something, but not really
- Clean your skin with snake
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Snail Oil Beauty Soap
$5.95Has real snail oil in it, no really, snail
- A 2.5 oz. bar of soap
- Contains real snail oil
- Allegedly helpful for something, but not really
- Clean your skin with snail
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Let's Get Messy Emergency BBQ Pig Out Kit
$4.50You can't eat good BBQ without making a mess
- Contains 2 moist towelletes and 2 bibs so you can share
- Comes in easily transportable collectible tin
- Decorated with Slicey the Pig
- Be prepared, sometimes BBQ sneaks up on you
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Dear Leader Frugal Toothpaste Extrusion Device
$2.95Even though he has passed, Kim Jung Il wants you to conserve toothpaste
- Hard plastic lips with slit for tube
- Lips are 3-5/8" x 1-5/8"
- We're not sure how Kim Jung Un feels about toothpaste
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Underpants Bandages
$5.00Keep your pain private with ouchie underpants
- Twelve 2-1/2" x 1-1/4" underpants-shaped bandages
- Come in a reusable tin
- Latex free with sterile gauze
- FREE PRIZE INSIDE! No more naked wounds
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Tissue Noir
$3.50This tissue is as black as as your mood before coffee
- These tissues are blacker than black
- Cardboard box with 50 two-ply tissues
- Perfect gift for sad goths
- How ninjas blow their noses
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Macho Tissues
$4.05Awww, you just stick with your wussy tissues, you wimp
- Cardboard box with 100 tissues
- Not tiny, wussy tissues, these are 13" x 7-3/4"
- Tissue real men prefer
- Perfect for blood & sweat, but never tears
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Cupcake Toothpicks
$2.50Tasty baked goods meet oral hygiene
- Filled with vanilla-flavored toothpicks
- Easily transportable 3" x 1-1/4" x 1/2" tin
- Look tough, while thinking about cupcakes
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Hand Soap
$8.03Wash your hands with your hand
- Hand-shaped piece of soap
- 4-3/4" long and musk scented
- Hilarious visual pun
- Great reminder to wash your hands before returning to work
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French Fry Lip Balm
$2.95Your lips are as shiny as the floor next to the deep fryer
- 2-1/2" tube of lip balm
- Tastes like french fries
- Like kissing a 5 Guys
- Twist bottom dispenser
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Macaroni & Cheese Bandages
$5.00Coat your wound with starchy goodness
- Twelve 3" x 1" bandages decorated with mac & cheese
- Come in a reusable tin
- Latex free with sterile gauze
- FREE PRIZE INSIDE!
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Public Toilet Survival Kit
$5.03Helps you survive filthy bathrooms
- Includes a toilet seat cover, 2 antiseptic wipes and a pair of gloves
- Comes in a 3-3/4" tin
- Slips into bags and purses in case of emergency
- Tested at a filling station in rural Alabama
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Bacon Toothpaste
$5.00The toothpaste that makes your breath bacon fresh
- 2.5 oz. of toothpaste in illustrated tube
- Smoky bacon flavor
- Practice oral hygiene, satisfy cured meat cravings
- Easier than brushing with real bacon
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Cupcake Toothpaste
$5.00The toothpaste that makes your breath frosting fresh
- 2.5 oz. of toothpaste in illustrated tube
- Scrumptious frosting flavor
- Practice oral hygiene, satisfy sweet tooth
- Much healthier than brushing with real frosting
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Toothpick Bird
$7.00No bird cares more about your oral hygiene
- Stands atop 2" hollow base that stores toothpicks
- Press bird’s head to retrieve toothpick with beak
- 3" tall, plastic
- Toothpicks not included
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World's Largest Tweezers
$9.95Perfect for the world's largest errant hair
- 11-3/4" long pair of tweezers
- Made from food-grade stainless steel
- Does not fit well in purses or bags
- Looks great next to giant pair of scissors
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Personal Hygiene
