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  1. Mini Crime Scene Tape

    Mini Crime Scene Tape

    $4.50

    Instock

    • Tape that looks like crime scene tape
    • 100 feet of 3/4" wide tape
    • Comes in plastic dispenser
    • Perfect passive-aggressive way to point out mistakes
    • Read More
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  2. Vinderhosen

    Vinderhosen

    $12.00

    Instock

    • One pair of vinyl lederhosen for wine
    • Fits most standard 750 mL bottles
    • Way snazzier than a gift bag
    • Conceals inexpensive vintages
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  3. Ceramic Piggy Spoon Rest

    Ceramic Piggy Spoon Rest

    $9.50

    Instock

    • 7-1/2" x 4-1/2" ceramic spoon rest
    • Wipes clean easily
    • Gives spoons a place to hang out
    • Won't judge you if you cook bacon
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  4. Tech Monks Teacups

    Tech Monks Teacups

    $12.00

    Instock

    • Set of 2 porcelain teacups
    • Each is 3" tall & holds 4 ounces
    • Like them first, then reblog them
    • Dishwasher & microwave safe
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  5. Breakdancing Monks Teacups

    Breakdancing Monks Teacups

    $12.00

    Instock

    • Set of 2 porcelain teacups
    • Each is 3" tall & holds 4 ounces
    • Helps you attain nirvana & street cred
    • Dishwasher & microwave safe
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  6. Squirrel Salt and Pepper Shakers

    Squirrel Salt and Pepper Shakers

    $9.00

    Instock

    • Set of 2 ceramic squirrel heads
    • 2 1/2" tall; charmingly disembodied
    • Good for any seasoning
    • Will help you avoid tasteless nuts
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  7. BBQ Pig Condiment Bottle

    BBQ Pig Condiment Bottle

    $6.00

    Instock

    • 7-1/2" tall pig-shaped sauce bottle
    • Made of plastic
    • Pig looks delicious & sinister
    • Keep on your table; sauce everything
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  8. Zombie Sleep Mask

    Zombie Sleep Mask

    $4.53

    Instock

    • Comfy polyester mask with cotton back
    • Elastic band holds firmly in place while you sleep
    • You'll look like a zombie, so you'll sleep in peace
    • Fits most adults
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  9. Cthulhu Christmas Sweater

    Cthulhu Christmas Sweater

    $40.00

    Out of stock

    • A horribly distasteful Christmas sweater
    • One size that fits no one well
    • Christmas & Cthulhu together for the first time
    • Limited quantity SOLD OUT!
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    Out of stock

  10. Hot Dog Ear Buds in Package

    Hot Dog Ear Buds

    $12.95

    Instock

    • One pair of Hot Dog Ear Buds
    • 3.5 mm jack compatible with iPhone
    • These red hot audio accessories are a real wiener
    • You haven't heard music until you've heard it through meat
    • Read More
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  11. Ear Worms Ear Buds in Box

    Ear Worms Ear Buds

    $12.95

    Instock

    • One pair of Ear Worm Ear Buds
    • 3.5 mm jack compatible with iPhone
    • Pretend your head is an apple
    • A catchy song is an ear worm
    • Read More
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  12. How to Keep Your Husband Apron with Box

    How to Keep Your Husband Apron

    $9.05

    Instock

    • 19" x 24", 100% cotton
    • Covered in outdated rules for the obedient wife
    • Reproduction of a classic 1950s novelty
    • Perfect gift for a staunch feminist
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  13. Look Taller Shoe Lifts

    Look Taller Shoe Lifts

    $4.51

    Instock

    • Foam shoe inserts
    • Adds an inch to your heat
    • Great retro packaging
    • Not endorsed by Tom Cruise in any way
    • Read More
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  14. Squirrel Coffee Cup

    Squirrel Coffee Cup

    $3.00

    Instock

    • Real porcelain squirrel-sized coffee cup
    • Cup is 1-1/4" x 1-1/4"
    • Fill with a hazelnut blend and share
    • Not responsible for damage caused by jittery squirrels
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  15. World's Largest Coffee Cup

    World's Largest Coffee Cup

    $47.50

    Instock

    • A real porcelain cup
    • 6" tall x 10" in diameter
    • Can hold 20 regular cups of coffee
    • Use as a planter, if you care about your health
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  16. Cupcake Jelly Beans

    Cupcake Jelly Beans

    $5.00

    Instock

    • Comes in a tin shaped like a cupcake
    • Filled with vanilla flavored jelly beans
    • Scientists trying to come up with a cuter tin have failed
    • Read More
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  17. Switchblade Spork

    Switchblade Spork

    $7.00

    Instock

    • Press a button to release spork
    • 11" long when fully extended
    • Only tough way to eat chicken nuggets
    • Be armed in a food fight
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  18. Green Tea Mints

    Green Tea Mints

    $2.50

    Instock

    • Around 100 mints that taste like tea
    • Comes in a beautiful tin
    • Almost as soothing as actual tea
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  19. Roller Girl Candy Cigarettes

    Roller Girl Candy Cigarettes

    $1.95

    Instock

    • Comes in realistic 3-7/8" x 2" x 3/4" pack
    • Contains twelve 3-1/2" sticks
    • Orange-flavored
    • Does not diminish lung capacity
    • Read More
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  20. Crazy Cat Lady Candy

    Crazy Cat Lady Candy

    $4.50

    Instock

    • Contains cat-shaped, tutti-frutti candy
    • Comes in delightful decorated tin
    • Made of sugar
    • The perfect gift for your favorite crazy cat lady
    • Read More
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