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Kim Jong Il wants you to have a clean tongue

  • 7" long tongue scraper
  • Package decorated with Kim Jong Il
  • Dead dictator stickler for oral hygiene
  • This is super collectible
  • Read More

Availability: In stock

$2.95

Item #: 12124


  

Dear Leader Tongue Scraper

Dear Leader Tongue Scraper

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Dear Leader Tongue Scraper

Kim Jong-Il wants you to have a clean tongue

North Koreans refer to themselves as "the cleanest race" and that includes freshly scraped tongues. Kim Jong-Il instituted a program of mouth cleanliness before his death. It included brushing, scraping and eating as little food as possible. Each 7" long plastic utensil will keep your tongue as fresh as Dear Leader's! Illustrated blistercard.


Excerpt from Kim Jong-Il'ls Proclamation of Oral Hygiene

This document constitutes the thoughts and decrees of Superior Person, Father of the People, Leader of the Revolutionary Army, Dear Leader, One Awesome Dude, Inventor of Pong, Like Fonzie Only Cooler, Bieber Before Beiber, He Who No Longer Needs A Sippy Cup, Taller Than Michael Jordan, Kim Jong-Il. Our Beloved and Respected Leader invented the art of dentistry in 1946 at the age of 5 years, when he carved a new human tooth from a bowling pin immediately after bowling seven perfect 300 games in a row. Since that time his Most Important Humanage has made dental hygiene a defining factor of party membership. He is known to inspect the tongues of all who appear before him, being able to detect by touch the amount of bacteria upon it. As his birth was foretold by a swallow, a double rainbow, a keyboard playing cat and a clever swarm of gnats that spelled out his name in the skies over Pyongyang, he foresaw a Korea without tooth decay or bad breath. As our Toppermost of the Poppermost Himself once said, "The key to making it with the ladies is a bacteria-free tongue. Once you're nestled all snugs like two bugs, the last thing she wants is your fuzzy old rotten meat tongue anywhere near her."