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Gravy makes everything better, even Christmas, which is why we thought there should be more ways to enjoy gravy throughout the holiday season. No matter how bad a holiday meal is, you can always count on good old gravy to cover everything up and make it better. If it's dry, gravy makes it juicy. If it's flavorless, gravy packs it full of herb-infused deliciousness.
Gravy Candy Canes taste like grandma’s gravy, but they’re easier to hold in your hand.
We thought dipping our Gravy Candy Canes in actual gravy would be fun! It was not, David still hasn’t completely recovered:
Talk about celebrity endorsements! Chewbacca sent us this picture of himself wearing our Bigfoot Sweater.
He says, "Rrrrwwrgh, Gwarrrrrrgh, Aargharrrrrawwwwgrrrrragggh." Translated: "This sweater is warmer than the insides of a Tauntaun. It even smells slightly better."
It was around this time last year that Maika, co-editor of Archie McPhee's Endless Geyser of Awesome, created her first Cthulhumas tree using a bunch of our Chtulhu tentacles, blue string lights, silver garland, a plush Cthulhu, and just the right amount of eldritch chanting.
Knowing the Great Old Ones would be expecting a tribute at least as nice as last year's effort, Maika created a second Cthulhumas tree this year, building on the original design with the addition of more lights, three dozen Finger Tentacles, and some Terrified B-Movie Victims.
Don't leave small pets or children alone around this tree. Those frightened little figures won't satisfy it for long.
Merry Cthulhumas to all of you!
May the Elder Gods continue to sleep soundly.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Conventional Christmas presents like video games, appliances and socks are great. But you can make Christmas even more fun with some delightfully strange and unexpected gifts as well.
That's why we made this handy list of our top 5 unforgettable Christmas gifts for 2012 to help you get started:
After tending to their beloved yards all year long, Dads have earned some yard-related entertainment and this unusual gift is just the ticket. It also makes a funny (and useful!) present for nature lovers and anyone who thinks the town squirrels are getting a little big for their tiny britches. This time of year those naughty neighborhood squirrels are running around like crazy trying to stock up (and fatten up) for the winter. Hang this feeder in the backyard, fill it with something squirrels find irresistible and then stand back while hilarity ensues.
Moms are renowned for kissing our boo-boos and making us feel better, but Moms sometimes get boo-boos of their own. Fancy bandages decorated with pretty images of one of literature's most famous female novelists or quotations from her best works make an entertaining and delightfully practical gift. (Pairs well with Downton Abbey dvds.)
Most of us know at least one crazy cat lady. If there's one thing crazy cat ladies love almost as much as their cats it's a present for their precious feline friends. Plenty of cat lovers probably already think their kitties are magical creatures, but this inflatable unicorn horn makes it official. It also makes for some seriously funny photos.
This mask is a perfect gift for that famously funny uncle as well as aspiring, accomplished or just downright terrible cooks. Put this realistic raw turkey mask in the hands of someone who already has a great sense of humour and Christmas will turn into something straight out of a sitcom.
What do you get for the person who has everything? Easy, you get them an Inflatable Beard of Bees! There's no chance they've already got one and it's useful in all sorts of unexpected situations: impress the ladies (or the gents or hives of single bees), conceal your identity, cover up that patchy moustache while it's still just growing in or use it as a bib instead of a traditional napkin. It also makes a handy life raft for pet hamsters and the perfect present for notoriously hard-to-shop-for apiarists.
With presents like these, your holiday is sure to be a truly memorable experience. Remember, the more people are laughing, the less they're discussing politics or gossiping about
This year Dave Barry chose five of our items for his 2012 Gift Guide.
Here’s what he had to say about the kitty horn:
Do you have cat lovers on your holiday list? If so, here’s a gift that is sure to make them say: “What?” It’s an Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats". And if you know anything about cats, you know how much they, as a species, enjoy being dressed up as mythical figures. To use this horn, you simply blow it up and attach it to your cat’s head with elastic straps. Then it’s time to sit back and enjoy the ensuing hilarity for several lighthearted nanoseconds. And then it’s time to go to the emergency room.
And here's what he said about the Squirrel and Chicken masks:
Have you ever found yourself in a meeting at work when you wanted to fall asleep, or make faces at other meeting participants, but you can’t because you need to remain employed? If so, you, or some employed person on your holiday gift list, could definitely use one of these masks. These are large rubber masks that cover your entire head. You can see out, sort of, through the eye holes, but nobody can see in. So you (italics) appear (end italics) to be an attentive, interested, meeting-attending squirrel or chicken, no matter what you are actually doing with your face in there.
FACT: Many airline pilots wear these on international flights.
Photos by Bob Eighmie/Miami Herald/MCT
The winter holidays are approaching, but they aren't as well-defined as they used to be. This year don't stress yourself trying to choose between celebrating Hanukkah or Christmas. Let's all get together and celebrate Chrismukkah instead! The wooden Santa Dreidel is a cheerful and charmingly misguided way to mark both occasions and make merry with friends and family.
We at Archie McPhee are experts at the useless, impractical and stupid. In that vein, we offer our list of the Top Five Completely Useless Christmas Gifts of 2008! They're currently featured on our homepage, but here are the links to individual products. There are no better gifts to surprise, bewilder and confuse the people on your gift list. Just remember, they'll forget the socks and sweater, but they'll remember Squirrel Underpants forever!
Here they are:
3. Bacon Floss
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