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You’ve got the Horse Mask, but your whinnies are pathetic. It's hard to creep people out when your horse sounds make everyone around you point and laugh. Use this Emergency Horse Noisemaker to push your Horse Mask trolling to the next level!
This electronic device features four sounds (neigh, whinny, snort and gallop) that catapult you into the stratosphere of awesome horse trolling. Also good for phone conversations that could stand to be a lot horsier. Wear your Horse Mask secure in the knowledge that your horse noises won't be hoarse noises. Batteries included.
The future is here! We may not have our own jetpacks just yet, but we do have bacon-flavored carbonated candy that sizzles just like the real thing:
Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like smokey bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you're cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it's in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). Watch this video for a tantalizing demonstration:
Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? Thanks to this breakthrough in confectionery science, life just got even better for bacon lovers everywhere.
Looking for a gift for a friend who has been depressed or unmotivated? Give them the Emergency Self-Esteem Kit. That’s right, nothing makes grumps happy faster than attention and gifts!
This kit contains everything you need to rebuild a damaged psyche including a trophy you can give yourself, stickers, a book of affirmations and gold stars. You probably feel better just reading about it.
Bailey and Bailee look fantastic in our Googly Eyes Glasses:
Moose is enchanting in Hypno Glasses:
Tank looks Marxian in our Disguise Glasses:
Doris is fantastically feline in our Cat Eye Glasses:
And Milo is animated in our Anime Glasses.
We sure hope we get invited to the party next time! We'll bring the kibble.
Finger Hands! Hey dude, did you ever wonder what it would look like if your fingers had tiny hands on the end as if they were arms? It's a freak out!
This set of five irresistible soft vinyl finger puppets fit snugly on the end of your fingers and look like a quintet of tiny right hands. Now you can give a high twenty-five.
But wait, let's explore a few more uses for our new Finger Hands.
Here's the high twenty-five:
Impractical shoe tying:
Tiny business handshakes:
Adorable multi-handed peekaboo:
An excellent way to look even smarter while thoughtfully stroking your beard:
Guitar moves Eddie Van Halen couldn't handle:
A better way to brush your bangs out of your eyes:
And a true grip on your glass of water:
We consider this proof you should buy some Finger Hands right now. Really, you need them.
We’re going to blow your mind a bit, but if you think about it, Bigfoot walks around naked. Sure, his fur makes it look like he’s all covered up, but he’s a forest-living, hippy nudist. Our new Dress-Up Bigfoot comes with 28 reusable vinyl cling pieces of clothing and accessories that you can use to dress Bigfoot to suit all sorts of moods and occasions.
Standing 16” tall and made of laminated cardboard, Dress-Up Bigfoot makes a handsome desk accessory or holiday decoration. Dress and redress Bigfoot year-round, all the clings are reusable. Bigfoot comes with lederhosen, beer hat, boxers and so much more! You can dress Bigfoot to your whim, but we’re partial to him in his tighty-whities.
Here's a video demonstration of how to dress up Bigfoot:
Everybody has a cheap relative and death can be expensive. You know when they die they'd be mad at you if you spent thousands of dollars on a fancy urn! That's why we made our Modest Urn for the frugal.
This metal can, which mysteriously resembles a coffee can, comes with a sticker sheet so you can customize it for the deceased. It's 5" tall, 4" diameter and has a volume of 62.8 cubic inches.
In addition, there's a reusable interior metal seal and an exterior plastic cap to keep the ash from falling out. Includes a fill-in-the-blanks eulogy for easy mourning.
We even made a version of the urn just for pets.
Why yes, these are photos of President Obama shaking hands with someone wearing one of our Horse Head Masks. This awesomely surreal moment occurred on Tuesday night, July 8, 2014, as the President was greeting people along the streets of downtown Denver, CO.
Proving once again that there's no telling where our Horse Head Mask might show up next, the photo above was taken by Jewel Samad and the one below by New York Times photographer Doug Mills.
Of course, it didn't take long for The Internets to react in hilarious fashion, which is how we arrive at this amazing third photo.:
Visit BuzzFeed for additional images.[Photos via the LA Times and BuzzFeed]
Introducing the Screaming Pickle! You love the Yodelling Pickle when you're happy, but now there's the Screaming Pickle for more stressful days. Why would a pickle scream? We have no idea, but we’ve found it to be a great stress reliever around the office.
It's the perfect thing to keep on your desk at work or in your car to express your frustration for you. Having a bad day? Just press the button and this pickle sounds off with a dilly of a scream so loud it can be heard in the next barrel. Lets everyone around you know to stay out of your way. Click here to listen to the pickle scream.