Recently added item(s)
You have no items in your shopping cart.
"When I was young and filled with folly, I fell in love with melancholy. Now things seem to be so much better, since I acquired this awesome sweater.”
- Edgar Allan Poe
Doesn't Edgar look smashing in his Edgar Allan Poe Sweater? We think so.
Featuring an honest, but misguided attempt to accurately capture the likeness of Edgar Allan Poe, this 100% acrylic sweater is sure to be a conversation piece with you and your friends as you play with a Ouija board and read poetry from your tear-stained journal. One-size-fits-most.
This is a limited quantity, exclusive item! Click here to order.
Announce to the world that you believe in Bigfoot and be assured that he most certainly believes in you.
The first rule of Bigfoot Club is to buy this fez and talk about Bigfoot to anyone who will listen.
If Bigfoot needs help, this fez lets people know that you're the one that's going to give it to him.
These three swanky fezzes fit an average-sized adult head, but also look pretty good perched precariously on an oversized noggin. They're made of red velour that's soft to the touch and exudes pure class. For some people, wearing a plain fez is not enough, they have so much more nerdy weirdness to express! Fezzes are cool!
Click here to order your favorite Bigfoot Fez (or get all three!).
Is there anything gravy can't do? No matter how bad a holiday meal is, you can always count on good old gravy to cover everything up and make it better. If it's dry, gravy makes it juicy. We thought dipping our Gravy Candy Canes in actual gravy would be fun! It was not, David still hasn’t completely recovered:
Gravy Candy Canes taste like grandma’s gravy, but they’re easier to hold in your hand. Every time you get suckered into a difficult conversation with an inebriated relative, just suck on the savory goodness of a Gravy Candy Cane and your troubles will melt away.
But don't keep them all to yourself. Sneak one in with regular candy canes and surprise someone else with that savory gravy flavor.
Super charge your manliness with the Bacon-Scented Mustache. The gosh darn thing smells like bacon. All the bacon. Maybe you aren’t man enough to even wear it! But wearing it will make you so manly that you won’t care.
This is the kind of thing that goes perfectly with woodworking, killing a snake with your bare hands or grilling a giant steak. It's the only mustache that makes you hungry all day. It's 4" wide, which is enough to mask your pathetic, unmasculine, bare upper lip.
You’ve got the Horse Mask, but your whinnies are pathetic. It's hard to creep people out when your horse sounds make everyone around you point and laugh. Use this Emergency Horse Noisemaker to push your Horse Mask trolling to the next level!
This electronic device features four sounds (neigh, whinny, snort and gallop) that catapult you into the stratosphere of awesome horse trolling. Also good for phone conversations that could stand to be a lot horsier. Wear your Horse Mask secure in the knowledge that your horse noises won't be hoarse noises. Batteries included.
The future is here! We may not have our own jetpacks just yet, but we do have bacon-flavored carbonated candy that sizzles just like the real thing:
Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like smokey bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you're cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it's in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). Watch this video for a tantalizing demonstration:
Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? Thanks to this breakthrough in confectionery science, life just got even better for bacon lovers everywhere.
Looking for a gift for a friend who has been depressed or unmotivated? Give them the Emergency Self-Esteem Kit. That’s right, nothing makes grumps happy faster than attention and gifts!
This kit contains everything you need to rebuild a damaged psyche including a trophy you can give yourself, stickers, a book of affirmations and gold stars. You probably feel better just reading about it.