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Is there anything gravy can't do? No matter how bad a holiday meal is, you can always count on good old gravy to cover everything up and make it better. If it's dry, gravy makes it juicy. We thought dipping our Gravy Candy Canes in actual gravy would be fun! It was not, David still hasn’t completely recovered:
Gravy Candy Canes taste like grandma’s gravy, but they’re easier to hold in your hand. Every time you get suckered into a difficult conversation with an inebriated relative, just suck on the savory goodness of a Gravy Candy Cane and your troubles will melt away.
But don't keep them all to yourself. Sneak one in with regular candy canes and surprise someone else with that savory gravy flavor.
Super charge your manliness with the Bacon-Scented Mustache. The gosh darn thing smells like bacon. All the bacon. Maybe you aren’t man enough to even wear it! But wearing it will make you so manly that you won’t care.
This is the kind of thing that goes perfectly with woodworking, killing a snake with your bare hands or grilling a giant steak. It's the only mustache that makes you hungry all day. It's 4" wide, which is enough to mask your pathetic, unmasculine, bare upper lip.
You’ve got the Horse Mask, but your whinnies are pathetic. It's hard to creep people out when your horse sounds make everyone around you point and laugh. Use this Emergency Horse Noisemaker to push your Horse Mask trolling to the next level!
This electronic device features four sounds (neigh, whinny, snort and gallop) that catapult you into the stratosphere of awesome horse trolling. Also good for phone conversations that could stand to be a lot horsier. Wear your Horse Mask secure in the knowledge that your horse noises won't be hoarse noises. Batteries included.
The future is here! We may not have our own jetpacks just yet, but we do have bacon-flavored carbonated candy that sizzles just like the real thing:
Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like smokey bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you're cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it's in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). Watch this video for a tantalizing demonstration:
Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? Thanks to this breakthrough in confectionery science, life just got even better for bacon lovers everywhere.
Looking for a gift for a friend who has been depressed or unmotivated? Give them the Emergency Self-Esteem Kit. That’s right, nothing makes grumps happy faster than attention and gifts!
This kit contains everything you need to rebuild a damaged psyche including a trophy you can give yourself, stickers, a book of affirmations and gold stars. You probably feel better just reading about it.
Bailey and Bailee look fantastic in our Googly Eyes Glasses:
Moose is enchanting in Hypno Glasses:
Tank looks Marxian in our Disguise Glasses:
Doris is fantastically feline in our Cat Eye Glasses:
And Milo is animated in our Anime Glasses.
We sure hope we get invited to the party next time! We'll bring the kibble.
Finger Hands! Hey dude, did you ever wonder what it would look like if your fingers had tiny hands on the end as if they were arms? It's a freak out!
This set of five irresistible soft vinyl finger puppets fit snugly on the end of your fingers and look like a quintet of tiny right hands. Now you can give a high twenty-five.
But wait, let's explore a few more uses for our new Finger Hands.
Here's the high twenty-five:
Impractical shoe tying:
Tiny business handshakes:
Adorable multi-handed peekaboo:
An excellent way to look even smarter while thoughtfully stroking your beard:
Guitar moves Eddie Van Halen couldn't handle:
A better way to brush your bangs out of your eyes:
And a true grip on your glass of water:
We consider this proof you should buy some Finger Hands right now. Really, you need them.