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Our new Santaur Ornament is half-human, half-horse, all Christmas spirit! This nontraditional centaur/Santa ornament is sure to sass up your Christmas tree with his six-pack abs.
We’ve taken a little heat for giving Santaur rock hard abs, but we want you to know we did consider the alternative. After seeing this sketch, Santaur asked for a few weeks to get himself together:
And here is Santaur now, fit as a fiddle and oh so shiny:
This shimmery, sparkling Lederhosen Unicorn Ornament is the most awesome ornament in the universe. It adds unlimited sass to any Christmas tree.
People often ask us why our Unicorn Ornament is wearing pink lederhosen. We say, "Why not?" If you try and think of more appropriate unicorn attire, you can come up with a few interesting ideas (unitard, Zorro cape, chaps), but nothing that captures the utter awesomeness of the unicorn quite as well.
It's a glass 5-3/4" tall chunk of mind blowing uni-brilliance. Your Christmas tree will never be the same. Includes a string for hanging, but can also stand on its own.
Is there anything gravy can't do? No matter how bad a holiday meal is, you can always count on good old gravy to cover everything up and make it better. If it's dry, gravy makes it juicy. We thought dipping our Gravy Candy Canes in actual gravy would be fun! It was not, David still hasn’t completely recovered:
Gravy Candy Canes taste like grandma’s gravy, but they’re easier to hold in your hand. Every time you get suckered into a difficult conversation with an inebriated relative, just suck on the savory goodness of a Gravy Candy Cane and your troubles will melt away.
But don't keep them all to yourself. Sneak one in with regular candy canes and surprise someone else with that savory gravy flavor.
The Gift Alarm turns your Christmas tree into Fort Knox. Put this motion-detecting alarm on top of the presents under your tree and it goes off when snoops try and sneak a peek.
The whole point of wrapping gifts is so they'll be a surprise, not so people can peel back the paper and peep. This 2-3/4" tall Gift Alarm has a motion detector with a 4 foot range. If some lookie-loo tries to approach their stack of gifts, the alarm goes into DEFCON 1 with a loud siren and flashing red light.
It's not Christmas specific, so you could also use this to protect the last precious piece of cake or your diary.
How do you improve Thanksgiving? We recommend our Inflatable Turkey and Eagle Talons. Imagine playing living room turkey-volleyball with all your relatives and then delivering the turkey to the table wearing talons! It’s like all your dreams have come to life. Well, our dreams at least. We’re seeing a therapist for it.
The Bah, Humbug! Candy Cane is designed to appeal to the grump/curmudgeon in your life. Even Ebenezer Scrooge has a sweet tooth.
We all know someone who doesn't enjoy the holidays, so why not give them a white flavorless cane to brandish when they complain about overplayed Christmas carols and how the holiday is all about greed and spending.
This is one candy cane that has no Christmas spirit whatsoever.
The Instant Audience electronic noisemaker puts the power of an audience in the palm of your hand! You just told the best joke anyone has ever told and the wet noodles around you aren't even laughing. There is no justice! Well, our Instant Audience lets you carry around the crowd reactions you deserve.
Worth buying just so you can play the cricket sound after one of your friends tells a terrible joke. Batteries included. Divorce lawyers at your expense.
Super charge your manliness with the Bacon-Scented Mustache. The gosh darn thing smells like bacon. All the bacon. Maybe you aren’t man enough to even wear it! But wearing it will make you so manly that you won’t care.
This is the kind of thing that goes perfectly with woodworking, killing a snake with your bare hands or grilling a giant steak. It's the only mustache that makes you hungry all day. It's 4" wide, which is enough to mask your pathetic, unmasculine, bare upper lip.
You’ve got the Horse Mask, but your whinnies are pathetic. It's hard to creep people out when your horse sounds make everyone around you point and laugh. Use this Emergency Horse Noisemaker to push your Horse Mask trolling to the next level!
This electronic device features four sounds (neigh, whinny, snort and gallop) that catapult you into the stratosphere of awesome horse trolling. Also good for phone conversations that could stand to be a lot horsier. Wear your Horse Mask secure in the knowledge that your horse noises won't be hoarse noises. Batteries included.
Scott's son has a temporary Poe toe! That little piggy is Edgar Allan Toe.