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Super charge your manliness with the Bacon-Scented Mustache. The gosh darn thing smells like bacon. All the bacon. Maybe you aren’t man enough to even wear it! But wearing it will make you so manly that you won’t care.
This is the kind of thing that goes perfectly with woodworking, killing a snake with your bare hands or grilling a giant steak. It's the only mustache that makes you hungry all day. It's 4" wide, which is enough to mask your pathetic, unmasculine, bare upper lip.
You’ve got the Horse Mask, but your whinnies are pathetic. It's hard to creep people out when your horse sounds make everyone around you point and laugh. Use this Emergency Horse Noisemaker to push your Horse Mask trolling to the next level!
This electronic device features four sounds (neigh, whinny, snort and gallop) that catapult you into the stratosphere of awesome horse trolling. Also good for phone conversations that could stand to be a lot horsier. Wear your Horse Mask secure in the knowledge that your horse noises won't be hoarse noises. Batteries included.
The Cat Video Clapperboard makes your cat feel like a star! You need to take the YouTube and Facebook videos of your cat to the next level. To get that standard of quality will require multiple takes, which means you’ll want this clapperboard. This tiny 4” x 3-1/2” wood clapperboard is the perfect thing to mark the takes of your kitty doing adorable things.
Lights, Camera, Action, Meow!
The future is here! We may not have our own jetpacks just yet, but we do have bacon-flavored carbonated candy that sizzles just like the real thing:
Sizzling Bacon Candy not only tastes like smokey bacon, it also turns your tongue into a frying pan. As soon as you douse your mouth in candy, the sizzling sound makes it seem like you're cooking bacon over a campfire. Except it's in your head and the campfire is your burning passion for bacon (and your saliva which is what activates the candy). Watch this video for a tantalizing demonstration:
Lots of things taste like bacon, but how many sound like bacon? Thanks to this breakthrough in confectionery science, life just got even better for bacon lovers everywhere.
Looking for a gift for a friend who has been depressed or unmotivated? Give them the Emergency Self-Esteem Kit. That’s right, nothing makes grumps happy faster than attention and gifts!
This kit contains everything you need to rebuild a damaged psyche including a trophy you can give yourself, stickers, a book of affirmations and gold stars. You probably feel better just reading about it.
This beautiful Sugar Skull Air Freshener glows in the dark, smells like vanilla and can make your Prius about 10 times more mysterious! Summer is winding down which means Autumn is just around the corner and, before we know it, Halloween and the Day of the Dead will be here. Make sure your car is dressed and scented for the occasion.
Finger Hands! Hey dude, did you ever wonder what it would look like if your fingers had tiny hands on the end as if they were arms? It's a freak out!
This set of five irresistible soft vinyl finger puppets fit snugly on the end of your fingers and look like a quintet of tiny right hands. Now you can give a high twenty-five.
But wait, let's explore a few more uses for our new Finger Hands.
Here's the high twenty-five:
Impractical shoe tying:
Tiny business handshakes:
Adorable multi-handed peekaboo:
An excellent way to look even smarter while thoughtfully stroking your beard:
Guitar moves Eddie Van Halen couldn't handle:
A better way to brush your bangs out of your eyes:
And a true grip on your glass of water:
We consider this proof you should buy some Finger Hands right now. Really, you need them.
The Existential Coloring Book is packed to the gills with animal-people paired with dark quotes from philosophers and other people worried about the essential dark unknowability of the universe.
It's also full of thoughtful yet melancholy activities! From an existential connect-the-dots to a page where you can draw what Kierkegaard is thinking about, you'll being sighing with joy as you work on them.
This looks like a coloring book for kids, but it's probably not a good idea to give it to one, unless they're really smart and more than a little weird.
This twenty-four page, 8" x 10-1/4" book is a great gift for philosophy majors or anyone else overwhelmed with a feeling of hopelessness. It features quotes from existential thinkers, mysterious pictures to color and mildly depressing activities.
We’re going to blow your mind a bit, but if you think about it, Bigfoot walks around naked. Sure, his fur makes it look like he’s all covered up, but he’s a forest-living, hippy nudist. Our new Dress-Up Bigfoot comes with 28 reusable vinyl cling pieces of clothing and accessories that you can use to dress Bigfoot to suit all sorts of moods and occasions.
Standing 16” tall and made of laminated cardboard, Dress-Up Bigfoot makes a handsome desk accessory or holiday decoration. Dress and redress Bigfoot year-round, all the clings are reusable. Bigfoot comes with lederhosen, beer hat, boxers and so much more! You can dress Bigfoot to your whim, but we’re partial to him in his tighty-whities.
Here's a video demonstration of how to dress up Bigfoot: