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    Author Archives: Mr. Bacon

    • Ask Mr. Bacon! Should I reveal my secret life?

      Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime's worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us and we'll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter.

      Today's question comes from Secret Life: Mr. Bacon, my family reunion is coming up and I have been less than honest with my family about what is going on in my life. Should I continue with the charade or come clean?

      Dear Secret Life,
      By all means, keep up the charade. Speaking of which, don't you love the classic party game charades? I'll never forget the time that my Uncle Prosciutto got so frustrated when we couldn't decipher his pantomime that he just yelled out “I'm a muskox you nitwits!"
      But seriously, if you really feel like you need to get the burden off your chest why don't you just tell me? Admit it, you probably like my delicious cured meatiness more that you like your family anyway. Plus, if you tell me, I promise not to belittle, berate or disown you. That way you feel better, your family is spared the trauma and I continue to be delicious. Everyone wins!
      Yours in succulence,
      Mr. B

      Mr. Bacon is proud to announce the arrival of his very own board game!
      Click here for meaty fun!

    • Ask Mr. Bacon! Were you close to your family?

      Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime's worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us and we'll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter.

      This week's question is from Riley H.

      Q: I was just curious if you were close to the rest of your family. Such as Mr. Ham or Senor Tenderloin.

      A: Dear Curious,

      How did you hear about Senor Tenderloin? The last time I saw that cut of meat he was soaking in a ginger soy marinade. Before he got plated, I heard rumors that he'd been seen with some organic asparagus. It's a shame really. He always seemed like a level-headed loin.

      Now Mr. Ham is another story. He and I, well, we came from the same swine. That guy was like a brother to me. Taught me what it means to be cured. I'll always remember the pride and contentment on his face when they drizzled him with honey mustard and set him in the center of the Easter table. He was the best Ham I ever knew.

    • Ask Mr. Bacon - Degrees of Bacon

      Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime's worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us or leave a comment below and we'll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter.

      Here's today's question!

      Dear Mr. Bacon,
      Can you do the six degrees Kevin Bacon game with your name as the starting name and are you related to him in any way?

      Thank you for your time, I know you're a very busy man.
      Christi

      Mr. Bacon responds:

      Thanks for your question, Christi. I made my movie debut as the upper-lip on Pee-wee's breakfast face in Pee-wee's Big Adventure. You can see me about 2:41 into the clip below.

      I won't tell you everything that went on under that Mr. T cereal, but I will say the lower lip is now Mrs. Bacon!

      The star of that film was Paul Reubens. So if we start with me and go through Paul, it's a pretty quick trip to Kevin Bacon!

      Mr. Bacon> acted in Pee-wee's Big Adventure> which starred Paul Reubens > who did a voice in Dr. Dolittle> which featured Oliver Platt> who acted in Frost/Nixon with Kevin Bacon!

      Kevin and I are in no way related, but if he invited me to join the Bacon Brothers band, they wouldn't have to change their name and they'd get a heck of a drummer.

    • Ask Mr. Bacon - What Makes You Taste So Good?

      Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime's worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us and we'll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter. Today's question is from H Demarjian!

      Q: Mr Bacon, what makes you taste so darned good?

      Mr. Bacon: If you are speaking of baconkind as a whole, I'd have to say that our excellent flavor is the result of a perfect marriage of salt and fat. If you are speaking of me in particular, I think what it really comes down to is believing in myself. I truly believe that I taste delicious and I think those positive thoughts of succulence manifest themselves in my flavor. Also, not sure if you're aware of this, but I'm made of meat.

    • Ask Mr. Bacon - Celebrating the Holidays

      Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime's worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us and we'll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter.

      Q: What do the holidays mean to bacon?

      Mr. Bacon: The holidays are a very special time for baconkind. It's a time to
      reflect upon what it means to be a pork product. It's a time to take
      pride in our duty to delight the tastebuds of humans. And most
      importantly, it's a time to get all sauced up on cooking wine.

    • Ask Mr. Bacon!

      Our own Mr. Bacon has agreed to answer questions from readers of this blog. He not only has a lifetime's worth of experiences and wisdom to pass along, but also the unique perspective that comes from being made of bacon. If you would like to ask Mr. Bacon a question email it to us and we'll pass it along. You can also follow Mr. Bacon on Twitter.

      Q: Is the self identical with the body?

      Mr. Bacon: I've pondered this question for many hours while sizzling in my own fat and the only conclusion I've come to is that I smell delicious and small pieces of me can really put some pizzazz into a salad.

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