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  1. Big Googly Eyes

    Big Googly Eyes

    $5.00

    An M googly eye for the space between S and L

    • One pair of 3" Googly Eyes
    • Adhesive back
    • The "just right" size
    • Fun comes in medium packages too
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  2. Shakespearean Insult Bandages

    Shakespearean Insult Bandages

    $5.00

    Add Elizabethan insult to injury

    • 15 3" x 1" latex-free bandages
    • Come in a collectible tin
    • Decorated with Shakespeare & his insults
    • Perfect for curs & wretches
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  3. Nihilist Toothpaste

    Nihilist Toothpaste

    $5.00

    We don't believe in dental hygiene

    • A 2.5 oz. tube of toothpaste
    • No added flavor
    • Minimalist packaging
    • Like brushing your teeth with reality
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  4. Pigeon Mask in the city

    Pigeon Mask

    $29.95

    A bird on the head is worth two in the bush

    • Mask mask makes you look like a pigeon
    • Made of latex
    • Fits most adult heads
    • Good excuse to hang out on a statue
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  5. Pencil Eraser Hats

    Pencil Eraser Hats

    $3.50

    Excuse me sir, but that is a dapper writing utensil

    • Set of 4 eraser hats
    • Range from 1/2" to 1" in size
    • Top hat, bowler, homburg & fedora
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  6. Vinderalls

    Vinderalls

    $12.00

    The overalls for your wine

    • 95% cotton, 5% spandex overalls
    • Fits most wine bottles
    • Hides the label of bad vintages
    • Bib pocket holds a gift card or hankie
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  7. Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats

    Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats

    $5.00

    Cats love it!

    • 5-1/2" long, made of vinyl
    • Four-point elastic strap system
    • Makes your dreams come true
    • Cats love it!
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  8. Giant Googly Eyes

    Giant Googly Eyes

    $7.00

    Big googly eyes for when you need to personify big things

    • 1 pair of 7" diameter googly eyes
    • Adhesive back for easy attachment
    • Add life to forklifts, dumpsters & yachts
    • I always feel like that sofa's watchin' me
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  9. Bigfoot Air Freshener

    Bigfoot Air Freshener

    $2.00

    Smells way better than the actual bigfoot

    • Air freshener that smells like pine
    • It's 5" long & made of thick paper
    • Includes string for hanging
    • Real bigfoot smells like cheese, socks & mildew
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  10. Anime Eyes Glasses

    Anime Eyes Glasses

    $4.00

    Konnichiwa, have anime eyes without expensive makeup or surgery

    • Adult size glasses that give you large eyes
    • Perfect for Skype, FaceTime and Google Meetups
    • Limited vision, do not drive or operate giant robots while wearing these
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  11. Emergency Googly Eyes

    Emergency Googly Eyes

    $7.50

    You never know when something might need a little personification

    • 20 pairs of stick-on googly eyes
    • Add some life to your cubicle
    • 4 sizes ranging from 1/2" to 1-3/16"
    • Eye-bombing (vandaleyesing) is fun!
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  12. Magical Unicorn Mask Punk

    Magical Unicorn Mask

    $29.95

    Are you a secret unicorn?

    • Latex mask with realistic fur mane
    • Express your inner-unicorn
    • Perfect for crowds, concerts, and carousing
    • Fits most adult heads
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  13. Squirrel Coffee Cup

    Squirrel Coffee Cup

    $3.00

    A cup for squirrels, because they sure need caffeine

    • Real porcelain squirrel-sized coffee cup
    • Cup is 1-1/4" x 1-1/4"
    • Fill with a hazelnut blend and share
    • Not responsible for damage caused by jittery squirrels
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  14. Macaroni & Cheese Air Freshener

    Macaroni & Cheese Air Freshener

    $2.00

    The comforting smell of macaroni and cheese while you drive

    • Air freshener smells like mac & cheese
    • 4-1/4" long & made of thick paper
    • Includes string for hanging
    • The comforting smell of comfort food
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  15. Emergency Affirmation Button

    Emergency Affirmation Button

    $12.03

    Finally, an inanimate object that understands you

    • A big button that says, "You are awesome!"
    • 4-1/4" x 2-3/4" x 3/4" plastic case
    • Decorated with a smiley face
    • Batteries not included
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  16. Doctor's Choice Candy Cigarettes

    Doctor's Choice Candy Cigarettes

    $1.95

    The candy cigarettes doctors prefer

    • Twelve 3-1/2" long sticks of candy
    • Orange flavor
    • A reminder of the days when doctors endorsed cigarettes
    • Real people should never smoke
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  17. Cupcake Toothpaste

    Cupcake Toothpaste

    $5.00

    The toothpaste that makes your breath frosting fresh

    • 2.5 oz. of toothpaste in illustrated tube
    • Scrumptious frosting flavor
    • Practice oral hygiene, satisfy sweet tooth
    • Much healthier than brushing with real frosting
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  18. Super Awesome Surprise Box

    Super Awesome Surprise Box

    $19.95

    The perfect gift to show someone how awesome you think they are

    • Contains over $70 worth of awesomeness
    • 12" x 12" x 4-1/2" box
    • Assortment of awesome Archie McPhee goodies varies
    • Assortment may vary from picture
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  19. Finger Tentacles

    Finger Tentacles

    $9.95

    Transform your fingers into wriggly, wiggly tentacles

    • 7" long, pink & red
    • Set of 5, soft & rubbery like calamari
    • Tentacular costume accessory
    • Ideal for cephalopod enthusiasts & H.P. Lovecraft fans
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  20. Instant Underpants

    Instant Underpants

    $3.50

    Need underpants in a hurry? Just add water!

    • 2-1/2" round tin holds pellet of disposable unisex underpants
    • Underpants expand when soaked in water
    • Fits most children and small adults
    • Better to have damp undies than no undies at all
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