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  1. Dashboard Jesus

    Dashboard Jesus

    $4.95

    Instock

    • 4" tall plastic Jesus
    • On a metal spring with adhesive base
    • Stick him where you need forgiveness
    • Guides you through the valley of gridlock
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  2. Bacon Bandages

    Bacon Bandages

    $5.00

    Instock

    • Fifteen 3" x 1" bacony bandages
    • 3-3/4" tall metal tin
    • Includes a free prize
    • Perfect for cuts, scrapes or grease burns
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  3. Bendable Party Mustache

    Bendable Party Mustache

    $2.95

    Instock

    • Posable, synthetic hair mustache
    • 6-3/4" long, attaches to nose with soft rubber clip
    • Be the life of the party by changing your ‘stache at will
    • Keep one in your bag for a handy disguise
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  4. Last Supper After Dinner Mints

    Last Supper After Dinner Mints

    $2.50

    Instock

    • Contains one hundred miraculously fresh mints
    • 3" x 1-1/4" x 1/2" collectible metal tin
    • Each mint is a little miracle for your mouth
    • Share them with friends, family and apostles
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  5. Deluxe Rubber Chicken

    Deluxe Rubber Chicken

    $9.95

    Instock

    • 21 hilarious inches long
    • Expertly hand-painted
    • Superior quality vinyl feels like plucked poultry skin
    • The ultimate housewarming gift
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  6. Shakespearean Insult Gum

    Shakespearean Insult Gum

    $2.50

    Instock

    • Seven 1" tall boxes look like mini volumes of Shakespeare
    • An eloquent Shakespearean insult printed inside each box
    • Two fruit-flavored gumballs per box
    • Offend intellectuals and confuse the dimwitted
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  7. Ark of the Covenant

    Ark of the Covenant

    $12.95

    Instock

    • 2" x 1-1/4" x 1-1/2" gold-painted metal box (4-1/4" x 2-14" x 3" with stand)
    • Reenact the climax of Raiders of the Lost Ark
    • Perfect for movie buffs or armchair archaeologists
    • Wrath of God not included
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  8. Bacon Flavored Toothpicks

    Bacon Flavored Toothpicks

    $2.50

    Instock

    • Eighty toothpicks in each 3" x 1-1/4" x 1/2" tin
    • Good oral hygiene with a smoky bacon bonus
    • Perfect after any pig-out
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  9. Handerpants

    Handerpants

    $11.95

    Instock

    • 95% cotton, 5% spandex fingerless gloves
    • Look and feel like men's briefs
    • Fits most adult hands
    • Warms hands and protects against chafing
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  10. Bacon Lip Balm

    Bacon Lip Balm

    $2.95

    Instock

    • 2-1/2" long tube, twist bottom dispenser
    • Soothing lip balm
    • Succulent bacon flavor
    • Keeps lips moist and meaty
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  11. Horse Head Mask

    Horse Head Mask

    Special Price: $22.95

    Regular Price: $24.95

    Instock

    • Realistic brown latex horse mask with faux fur mane
    • Fits most adult heads
    • Guaranteed to get you noticed at social functions
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  12. Instant Underpants

    Instant Underpants

    $3.50

    Instock

    • 2-1/2" round tin holds pellet of disposable unisex underpants
    • Underpants expand when soaked in water
    • Fits most children and small adults
    • Better to have damp undies than no undies at all
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  13. Finger Tentacles

    Finger Tentacles

    $9.95

    Instock

    • 7" long, pink & red
    • Set of 5, soft & rubbery like calamari
    • Tentacular costume accessory
    • Ideal for cephalopod enthusiasts & H.P. Lovecraft fans
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  14. Super Awesome Surprise Box

    Super Awesome Surprise Box

    $19.95

    Instock

    • Contains over $70 worth of awesomeness
    • 12" x 12" x 4-1/2" box
    • Assortment of awesome Archie McPhee goodies varies
    • Assortment may vary from picture
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  15. Cupcake Toothpaste

    Cupcake Toothpaste

    $5.00

    Instock

    • 2.5 oz. of toothpaste in illustrated tube
    • Scrumptious frosting flavor
    • Practice oral hygiene, satisfy sweet tooth
    • Much healthier than brushing with real frosting
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  16. Doctor's Choice Candy Cigarettes

    Doctor's Choice Candy Cigarettes

    $1.95

    Instock

    • Twelve 3-1/2" long sticks of candy
    • Orange flavor
    • A reminder of the days when doctors endorsed cigarettes
    • Real people should never smoke
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  17. Emergency Affirmation Button

    Emergency Affirmation Button

    $12.03

    Instock

    • A big button that says, "You are awesome!"
    • 4-1/4" x 2-3/4" x 3/4" plastic case
    • Decorated with a smiley face
    • Batteries not included
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  18. Macaroni & Cheese Air Freshener

    Macaroni & Cheese Air Freshener

    $2.00

    Instock

    • Air freshener smells like mac & cheese
    • 4-1/4" long & made of thick paper
    • Includes string for hanging
    • The comforting smell of comfort food
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  19. Squirrel Coffee Cup

    Squirrel Coffee Cup

    $3.00

    Instock

    • Real porcelain squirrel-sized coffee cup
    • Cup is 1-1/4" x 1-1/4"
    • Fill with a hazelnut blend and share
    • Not responsible for damage caused by jittery squirrels
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  20. Magical Unicorn Mask Punk

    Magical Unicorn Mask

    $29.95

    Instock

    • Latex mask with realistic fur mane
    • Express your inner-unicorn
    • Perfect for crowds, concerts, and carousing
    • Fits most adult heads
    • Read More
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