Handerpants Infomercial - Our Most Popular Video

Our most popular video of all time is the infomercial we did for Handerpants starring our own commercial pitchman, Chester McGuinness. As of this post, it has almost 900,000 views! We finally talked Chester into recording a response. 

Here, for the first time, is the rough draft of the script for the Handerpants commercial. It changed a bit during filming:

HANDERPANTS

Open with screen that says, In Memory of Billy Mays, 1958-2009.

Shot 1:

JEAN is writing with a pencil. Puts pencil down and starts rubbing her hand.

VO: Tired of senseless rubbing damage while using your hands?

Shot 2:

JEAN takes off a glove and rubs her hand? Hand red if possible.

VO: Tired of chaffing under gloves?

Shot 3:

Product shot.

VO: Try Handerpants!

Clip: Handerpants! Handerpants! Handerpants!

Shot 4:

Chester

Chester: This is Chester McGuiness for Handerpants! They're underpants for your hands! They solve all sort of problems like chaffing, reddening of the hands through needless rubbing, and damage to the hands caused by rough contact with other objects.

Holds up hand for inspection.

Chester: And they're stylish! You'll have to hold the ladies back when they get a look at your hands in these tiny tighty-whities. (Snarl and cat scratching motion.)

Clip: Handerpants! Handerpants! Handerpants!

Shot 5: Scroll of words on screen as they are read.

Handerpants are perfect for people in all walks of life. Architects, Stone Masons, The Elderly, Gastroenterologists, Night Bloggers, Old People, Construction Workers, Chefs, Twitterers, Curling Enthusiasts, Narwhal aficionados, Ninjas with delicate hands, Magicians, Magician's assistants, Assistants to the Magician's assistant, Visual Merchandisers, Hoboes, Wall Street Tycoons, Graphic Designers, Wolfmen, Cryptozoologists, Parasitologists, British Sitcom Stars, Local News Anchormen, Filling Station Attendants, Dungaree Inspectors, Senior Citizens, Snake Oil Salesmen, Daredevils, Jerks, Geniuses, Grandparents, Bouncers, Mutations, Retirees and many many more...

Shot 6:

Jean wearing handerpants and smiling.

Jean: No more chaffing for me! Or reddening of the skin through repeated contact with an object.

Shot 7:

Product shot with web info on it.

VO: To order your handerpants, the underpants for your hand, go to handerpants.com. Only one easy payment of $12.95 plus shipping and handling.

Clip: Handerpants! Handerpants! Handerpants!